


Twelve Days

by Mareel



Series: Always [52]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: 12 days of mShenko Christmas, Biotics, Canada, Christmas, Destroy Ending, Family, Food, Hospitalization, Kaidan's cousins, Love, M/M, Memories, Music, Orchard, Post-Canon, Post-Mass Effect 3, Sexting, Snow, Traditions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-19
Updated: 2015-12-27
Packaged: 2018-05-07 17:44:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 15,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5465354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mareel/pseuds/Mareel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first Christmas season that John and Kaidan get to enjoy together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Peace

**Author's Note:**

> Thirteen months after the end of the Reaper War, this is the first Christmas that Shepard and Kaidan get to enjoy together, in all it's aspects. Each chapter will have it's own rating and notes, but all will take place during the same Christmas season. It is part of the [Always](http://archiveofourown.org/series/223643) series, and references characters and events from [Family Matters](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3911497). 
> 
> It's written as 12 chapters to correspond with the prompts for 12 days of mShenko Christmas, provided by [ArchLucie](http://archiveofourown.org/users/ArchLucie/pseuds/ArchLucie). My thanks to her for inviting other writers to participate!
> 
> Day 1: Sending/receiving Christmas card(s)

 

The living room is starting to look – and smell and sound – a lot like Christmas. Who even knew Kaidan had a collection of holiday music on his omni-tool? 

"Do you think we should send some Christmas cards, Kaidan?"

He pauses in his self-appointed duty to deck our new home with pine garlands and lights, letting most the deep green coils he'd been holding slip to the floor. 

"Cards? Uh... sure, Shepard. If you want to, we can do that. We can probably find some in town next time."

"Yeah, we could... or maybe..." I pull out a small package from my jacket pocket. "Maybe we could use these. I ordered them on the extranet after we got the card from your mom... just delivered today. See what you think."

Kaidan steps down from the ladder and crosses the room to wrap his arms around me, taking time for a kiss before reaching for the packet. 

"I tried to find some that weren't too cheesy."

"What no Blasto cards? _This one will enkindle your Christmas spirit!_ "

"Nah... I figured Grunt might appreciate the ones with the drunken Santa belching about 'Christmas cheer' but your mom might not be so impressed."

I love the sound of Kaidan's laughter. Back on the first _Normandy_ , it would sometimes draw me down toward the Mess, where I'd find him sitting with Tali or Ash over mugs of steaming coffee. They'd wave me to a seat... maybe I'd join them for a few minutes... and they'd continue their conversation laced with terrible jokes, horrendous puns, and so much laughter. I missed that on the _SR2_ toward the end of the war when nothing was funny anymore, and a small smile from Kaidan when he kissed me was enough to light the room. 

"Yeah, you're right. No drunken Santa cards. Let's see what you picked instead. Oh, these are nice. We could send those to anyone. We should make a list."

Settling onto the end of the couch that isn't piled with decorating materials, I prop my leg up and pull Kaidan down to sit close to me. "So, family first... your mom, my mom. Hmm I wonder if there's really any way to send an actual card to her. Maybe not. Just the image of one in a comm message, I guess. That's all we used to do when I was a kid anyway."

Kaidan nods. "And my Aunt Lea and Isla and Sean. And little Grace... though she'd probably be happier with another plushie."

"We'll bring her one when we go over to the orchard for that dinner your mom is planning."

"Okay... so who's on Earth or near enough to get real cards? Kahlee and Jack for sure. Hackett probably."

I toggle on my omni tool to record the list. "And Tali and Garrus are still on the Citadel, I think. And Liara... not sure if she's moved back onto the _Normandy_ yet or not, but it's still in dock. The Charon relay won't be ready to test for at least a couple of months yet."

"Dr. Chakwas for sure. She's splitting her time between the Alliance hospital in London and getting Huerta Memorial back up and running. And I think some of the others are helping with the _Normandy_ refit... Joker of course, and Traynor. 

I slip an arm around Kaidan's shoulder and pull him closer. "We're pretty lucky... we have some good friends. And family."

His fingers glide over my jaw and slip behind my ears to my neck, making me shiver even before he kisses me. "I'm the luckiest of all, John. I have you."

My voice comes out a little throaty. "I might argue with you about that 'luckiest' part, but I'd rather just kiss you. Cards and lights and all that can wait... right now, just let me hold you."

_________________________________

 

"Let's get those cards done now. I thought of something I wanted to write on them though. I liked the idea of _Peace on Earth_... but we can do batter than that."

"John, you _already_ did better than that. It's why we can celebrate it."

"Something like that... Here, you take this pen and do half of them and I'll do the rest."

With a silver marker pen I add a couple of words to the card.

Wishing you peace on Earth... _and beyond._

_____________________________________________________

 

 


	2. Kissing Santa Claus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Santa Kaidan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thirteen months after the end of the Reaper War, at the Alenko family orchard. It is Shepard's voice. Rating PG.
> 
> Day 2: Hosting/attending a holiday party

 

"I don't know... are you sure about this, Mom?"

Elena just smiles and pats Kaidan's arm. "You'll do fine, little one. It's only for an hour or so."

"I guess I never even knew that Dad did this every year."

"It was after you enlisted, I think. He heard about the Children's Hospital having a Christmas party for the kids and how they could use some volunteers to help out. I offered to make cookies and when we delivered them the day before, they decided that they needed to recruit Michael. You know how he loved kids..."

Kaidan pulls Elena into a hug, murmuring softly. "I know, Mom."

She fusses with some last minute adjustments to his costume. Apparently his father wasn't quite as broad-shouldered as Kaidan is, and the jacket is a little tight across the chest. The pants are a bit short too, but Kaidan's boots take care of that problem.

"I wondered why you wanted me to be sure to bring my boots on this trip, Mom. Was kind of expecting you needed some help out in the orchard. Not for this..."

"One more thing... the beard is attached to the hat. Michael always said it was scratchy. Just be sure you don't try to take off the hat. Here, try it on now at least. Then you can put it on when we get there."

"Ho, ho, ho, Kaidan! Looks like you've put on a little weight around the middle... all that bacon maybe."

He glares at me and I lean across his padded belly to give him a kiss and whisper that I love him.

Elena looks him over with a critical eye. "One thing I didn't think about, I guess. Your father's hair was almost white by then... including his eyebrows. Yours..."

Kaidan shakes his head. "My eyebrows are what they are, Mom. I don't think the sick kids are going to care one way or the other."

"All right, then. Let's get everything loaded into the truck."

As she goes to collect the boxes of cookies and such from the kitchen, I can't resist teasing Kaidan just a little more. "So, when do I get to sit on your lap? I've been _very_ good... and I promise I can be even better!"

"John! Don't even think about it."

"Too late – I already did... just try to unsee the image."

"Tell me again why I love you?"

"Better yet, let me show you!"

His cheeks have reddened to a degree commensurate with his role. My job is done. 

"Don't worry, Santa Kaidan. I'll be on my best behavior. I'm just hoping nobody recognizes me in this Christmas sweater and Santa hat. I'll just be one of Santa's little helpers."

Elena returns and Kaidan takes several of the boxes from her, but I swear I heard him saying something like. 'Don't count on it.'

________________________________

 

"You did a wonderful job, little one! The children loved you! And you were so good with them - you made each of them feel like they were the only kid in the world while you were paying attention to them."

"Ah, Mom. That was rough sometimes. Sure, some of the kids were easy. They had their Christmas lists memorized... games, books, stuffed toys. It got a little harder when they'd say their wish was to get well..."

He's already ditched the hat and beard and looks very ready to get out of the rest of the suit. 

"I can help you with the rest of that, Kaidan. That way maybe your mom can work on dinner." I take his hand and head for the stairway. When we're halfway up the stairs, I lower my voice and tease him with my earlier request.

"Can I sit on your lap now?"

"Yeah, sure..."

Something is on his mind beside the prospect of my lap dance. He sits down heavily on the edge of the bed and kicks off his boots. Instead of perching on his knee, I sink down beside him and turn his face toward me. 

"What is it, Kaidan? Did something happen?"

"I don't know. Yeah, I guess so. John, some of those kids... they weren't just sick. Some of them had been injured in the Reaper attack. They'd lost legs or arms... or gotten burned..."

Finding his hand, I squeeze it hard. "Yeah, I noticed that... wondered if that was the story. So young to be in pain most of the time."

Kaidan bites his lip... maybe not for the first time today. "And the lost limbs weren’t the worst. What do you even say to a little boy who says all he wants for Christmas is for his dad to come home again?" 

He looks up at me, brows drawn tightly together. 

"I wanted to tell him, you know? Tell him I understood how he was feeling about losing his dad. But... Santa. So I couldn't. All I could offer the kid was a plushie. _Would you like a bear or a reindeer?_ Felt pretty damn inadequate."

There isn't much I can add to that assessment. I work at the fastenings to the Santa suit jacket and unbuckle the shiny black belt. He shrugs off the padded jacket and stands to kick off the pants. I pull him back down to me... on my lap, wrapping my arms around him and guiding his head to my shoulder. 

"You did fine, Kaidan. That would have been rough. I'm sure you said something to try to help."

"All I could say was that I knew how much it hurts to lose somebody you love. That little boy looked up at me like that was the last thing he ever expected me to say. And then... damn... he told me _he_ was sorry. I said _I'm sorry too. I think your dad would want you to try to have the best Christmas you can._ "

I stroke his hair slowly, pushing a few strands back away from his face where they'd fallen when he took off the hat. 

"Let's rest up before dinner... come to bed with me, Kaidan. I just want to hold you."

He nods against my chest and shifts so that I can get my legs up onto the bed before he joins me, wrapping his arm around my waist.

"I'm okay, John. Most of the party was fine. Just got caught off-guard a little. What about you? Anyone recognize you?"

"None of the kids. A couple of the medical staff. I got through it. Nothing like what you got hit with. I'm fine."

"Yeah, you are. How about kissing me again?"

There's no need for him to ask twice.

 


	3. Naughty But Nice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of distraction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thirteen months after the end of the Reaper War, Shepard is at home in Vancouver texting Kaidan on the Citadel. Rating M
> 
> Day 3: Getting put on the naughty list

 

"Hey, John, what's up?"

"Hey Kaidan! You answered that ping pretty quick - must be bored!"

"Council session. You know how that can be."

"Just wondered how it's going with the Council. Those folks could talk anyone into a stupor. Figured maybe I'd text you to help you stay awake."

"Well, I appreciate the thought. But they might actually be going to get down to a discussion about inviting other races to the new Council. Some of those who helped out in the war effort would like a voice. Can't say I blame them."

"Yeah. I can understand that. But it's going to be a hard sell by the Volus and Elcor I'm guessing."

"They're calling for the session to come to order now. I'd better log off and pay attention. Talk to you later... love you.

_______________________________

"Hey, Kaidan. How's it going?"

"Shepard... With great passion: the elcor ambassador is making a speech. What's up?"

" _Me_ , actually. Would you like me to tell you about it? Might make the meeting more interesting."

"John! You're not suggesting that you're texting me while you're..."

"Why not? I was thinking about you and one thing led to another. You have that effect on me, Alenko. Especially when I think about how you feel when you wake up spooned against me... hot and hard as hell."

"I'm flattered. But I'm not sure now is the best time to talk about it."

"Oh, I'm not just talking... texting, whatever. I'm a lot more involved than that. I just reached down to cup my hand over the tent in my sweatpants... feels good when I squeeze a little."

"Shepard. Not now, okay? Sitting through all this is hard enough."

"Ahh, so I've having an effect. You're hard too? Good. I wondered once if I could ever make you come without touching you. Though I wish you were here to do the squeezing... my own hand just isn't the same."

"I didn't say _I_ was hard... I said it's hard listening to..."

"Listening to the elcor droning on and on? When I'm telling you how I just pushed down the waist of the sweatpants to get a better handle on things. Did I mention I didn't bother with underwear this morning?"

"John... I'm going to need to stop answering your texts. Okay, you're right. You know damn well what effect you're having on me. But I don't have the option to take my pants off. So... maybe tone it down a little?"

"Kaidan, you know I will if that's really what you want. I'm not trying to embarrass you in public... just make your life a little more interesting."

"I know. I wish I could play along. But what if one of the Councilors suddenly asks me a question and I have to stand up to reply?"

"They won't notice. Or they'll chalk it up to human eccentricity. But seriously, you doing okay?"

"If you must know, I just had to shift around in my chair to _try_ to get more comfortable. The pants to this dress uniform don't leave a lot of, shall we say, wiggle room." 

"Maybe I'd better make this quick then. I'm stroking faster... kind of getting hard –hard to _type_ is what I meant to say. Thinking about you, Kaidan. Your hand wrapped around me, thumb circling... your eyes darkening, breath catching... oh god Kaidan... love you."

"John... you are so on the naughty list. Christmas is coming you know..."

"Coming. I know. You too?"

...

"Kaidan?"

"Just so you know, I excused myself for a few minutes. Said I had something to take care of."

"Something?"

"Something hard to deal with. _Coming_. With the image of your hand over mine, slick and urgent. Now I need to put myself back together and go back in there without grinning like an idiot."

"I love you, Kaidan. I'll leave you to it. But when you get home tonight... I'll be waiting."

"I'd expect nothing else. I love you too. But I mean it about the naughty list."

"At least now I have company there. Shepard out."

 


	4. Nostalgia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Such dorks!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At home near Vancouver, it is Shepard's voice - along with a letter from his mother. (Rated Teen)
> 
> Day 4: Showing off holiday style

 

Merry Christmas, John!

It was such a surprise to get the lovely Christmas card from you and Kaidan! 

Sweetheart, it reminded me of Christmas when you were growing up and we were seldom in the same place from year to year. You always wanted to try to stay in touch with your friends even after you'd moved halfway across the sector. 

Now you have friends scattered all over the whole galaxy! I hope we can get the relays and comm beacons functional again so that you can stay in touch with them all. And so we can chat more easily. 

I was thinking about the family Christmas pictures we took every year to send to your grandparents. I've kept them all and have attached a couple for you to share with Kaidan. Just be sure to tell him I'm not to blame for picking out the sweaters. My mother thought those were funny, and I'd practically have to bribe you to put one on long enough to get a picture to send her. 

I'm sure you'll be spending some time with Kaidan's family this year. Elena was kind enough to invite me, but we'll have to wait until the relay is up again before I can get back to earth. Please give her my thanks for taking such good care of you. 

It's hard to shop from here, but I wanted to give you both something for Christmas. So I'm sending a gift card for the _Holiday Home_ shop on the extranet. Maybe you can buy some decorations for that new house of yours. Send me a picture of what you pick out!

All my love to you both. 

Hannah

___________________________________________

 

"I hadn't realized your mom invited her for Christmas, Kaidan. That was really nice of her."

"Oh, Mom wants to meet her! I think they'd get along well, but could be some serious embarrassment in store for us both. And Hannah doesn't need any help in that department. Look at those pictures! Better not let Joker get hold of those or they'll be all over the Commander Shepard fan sites on the extranet – hideous Christmas sweaters and spiky little kid hair and all. 

"Commander Shepard fan sites? You're kidding me. Don't even think it. I have a special Spectre-coded file for items relating to critical galactic security. Those pictures go there."

"Yeah, deleting probably isn't secure enough."

"So what do you think, Kaidan? She expects us to buy something with her gift card."

"I just pulled up the site for that shop. Hey, look at that - they have some sweaters bad enough to rival the ones your grandmother sent. Like this one – red and green plaid and it has a reindeer with blinking lights threaded through his antlers. His nose blinks red too. Nice touch."

"Kaidan!"

"I'm kidding. Mostly. It might be fun to for us to get those though. Put them on and take a picture for your mom's collection."

"Which one for you? If we're doing this, yours has to be just as bad as mine. No! Wait... you get the reindeer one. Here's a Blasto sweater with a mistletoe crown on his head and a holly wreath around his gun. _This one requires a Christmas kiss. Enkindle this!_ That's tacky enough, don't you think?

"Oh yeah. The 3D dangling tentacles are pretty creepy. I'll just go with the blinking reindeer."

"Deal. Looks like there's some credits left over. Let's see what else we can find.

"Okay... Hey, look at these, Shepard! They have little starship ornaments."

"Nice! Not as detailed as the models I make, but not bad for the size."

"Yeah. I used to have one..." Kaidan's voice is more nostalgic that I've heard it. "It was a model of the _Millennium Falcon_. When you pushed a button it had Han Solo's voice saying _I have a bad feeling about this_. Wonder if my mom still has it?"

"You should ask her. Oh... this one! It's the _Normandy SR-2_! Our Christmas tree _needs_ this."

"Maybe I can jury-rig it so it will say _This is Commander Shepard. I should go_."

"Kaidan!"

"All right then. Order complete. Says it will be delivered in two days. Plenty of time before Christmas."

"Maybe we can take the picture and then donate the sweaters to some charity?"

"You wish, Shepard. Those places probably have standards."

Kaidan closes down the terminal and grabs a couple of beers from the fridge while I get comfortable on the couch in front of the fire.

"The picture will make my Mom happy anyway. And the little _Normandy_ will make _me_ happy. What about you, Kaidan?"

He settles next to me, wrapping me in his arms. "You have to ask?"

 


	5. Our Little Fir Tree

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Starting their own tradition

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> John and Kaidan are at home near Vancouver, and it is Kaidan's voice. (Rated Teen)
> 
> Day 5: Sharing/starting a holiday tradition
> 
> There is a companion-piece story: [Little Fir Tree](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5498444) from an alternative POV.

 

"What are we going to do about a Christmas tree?"

Shepard is stretched out on the couch with his head in my lap. The weather outside has turned cold and snowy, but it's plenty warm here in front of the fireplace. We finished putting up pine garlands threaded with tiny lights earlier this afternoon. But there's an empty space near the bay window that seems to beg for a tree. 

"I don't know, John. We have a lot of choices... What kind would you like?"

"Growing up on stations and starships, there _wasn't_ a lot of choice. We had a little fake tree that we set up every year on a desktop. A string of lights and a hodgepodge collection of decorations. Some stuff I made in school, a couple of ornaments that Mom said used to be her grandma's. They always looked kind of fragile and out of place next to the paper snowflakes and lopsided foil stars, but every year she unpacked them like they were important to her."

"Sounds pretty good for a small space and not much storage. Did you ever do things like string popcorn?"

He laughs. "Yeah once. But I think I ate most of it before it made it to the string."

"Figures. I might have done something like that too."

"You probably didn't have a fake tree though."

"No. My dad always wanted to go out searching for just the right tree. Mom would bundle me up in sweaters and mittens and a scarf to go on the great tree hunt. She went along sometimes, but mostly she said she needed to have hot cider ready for when we finally got home, half-frozen."

Shepard turns his head to look up at me. "I've seen movies where there were big lots of trees lined up on city lots and street corners. Something like that?"

My turn to laugh. "No way. It had to be a live tree. We'd go to a tree farm and pick one out. Dad would cut it down and we'd tie it to the truck. I always wanted a really tall one, but he had a pretty good eye for what would fit on the truck and in the house. Always made the house smell really good... the tree, the spiced cider, the cookies."

"You said you had a model starship to hang on the tree?"

I smile, remembering the little _Millennium Falcon_ ornament. "Yeah, we had a crazy-odd collection of stuff for the tree. Old and new. Mom collected models of musical instruments - violins and trumpets and drums and such. You'll probably see all that when we drive over to the orchard next week."

John sits up and shifts close to my side, draping an arm around my shoulders. "So you want to go find one for ourselves tomorrow?"

"Sounds good to me. There are several tree farms within a pretty easy drive from here. Let's plan on it."

"We should remember to buy some popcorn too."

__________________________________

 

The weather is crisp but clear as we pull into the parking area of one of the larger tree farms. It's a busy place with lots of families spilling out of trucks and utility vehicles, often accompanied by dogs who seem happy to be included in the expeditions.

But somehow the sense of a crowd diminishes as we begin to make our way down the far row of trees a short walk from the lot. The sun isn't warm, but it glints on the snow-dusted limbs of the trees. 

As we walk further, the trees aren't growing as neatly in rows and there's more variety in heights and species – some pines, quite a few spruces, and several varieties of firs. It feels more like a forest and our boots leave tracks in the wet snow. Only the tags on each tree serve as reminders that this isn't a forest, but a farm. 

"See anything you like, John?" I have my favorites, but I want him to pick whatever appeals to him.

"They all look nice... some are probably too tall for us, but I kind of like these – says they are Douglas firs."

"Those make good Christmas trees. Is there one in particular that you like? We can tag it and go back for a saw or get someone to help us with it."

"No... not yet. Let's keep looking."

He's starting to limp a little and I worry that the cold isn't helping. And there's an odd note in his voice that sounds almost hesitant. If something is bothering him, he'll tell me in his own time though. I just try to slow the pace a little to accommodate his leg, and offer an arm for him to lean on. 

We're starting to get into an area of smaller, younger trees. Some of them are tagged for sale, some not. When we're almost to the far edge of the property, something catches John's eye. It's a cluster of very small noble firs with root balls intact, wrapped in burlap. 

"Kaidan. Look at these – it looks like they're ready to be planted. Maybe we could get one of those?"

"Why not? We have plenty of space to plant a tree. I didn't think about that option, but it seems like a good one for us. Just can't leave it in the house for too long."

" _This_ one." 

It's one of the smallest trees, barely a meter tall, but with nice branches. I like it.

"I like it. Just out of curiosity, what made you choose this one rather than picking one of the others we looked at?"

John chews on his lower lip for a moment, considering. "Kaidan, as we drove over here, out of the city, we passed a lot of destruction. A lot of places not recovered from the war." 

He takes a deep breath and reaches for my hand, holding tight. I recognize his all too understandable reaction to the aftermath of the Reapers and wrap my other arm around him as he continues to try to explain. 

"There's been enough trees and everything else destroyed around here in the past year or two. I don't want to add to it by cutting down another tree just so it will look nice in our house for a couple of weeks." He pauses, looking up to meet my eyes. "Am I making any sense at all?"

Loving how he can still surprise me, I kiss him softly and nod. "Yeah. I like that idea a lot."

__________________________________

 

"The tree looks great with all the lights on it. At first I worried that it might be a little small, but it's perfect."

Settled by the fire, warm again after our expedition, John laughs at my concern and leans in for a deep kiss, his hands beginning to wander. "I always heard size doesn't matter. Not that you have anything to worry about in that department, Alenko."

Not only can he still surprise me, he knows exactly how to make me blush. "Yeah. You never complain." 

So we're starting our own tradition. In a way it reminds me of both of our childhood Christmas trees. A live tree, and on a scale familiar to him. And we're decorating it with an eclectic assortment of ornaments, including the model Normandy SR2 and a few little seashells from John's collection. 

The tiny lights sparkle in the early darkness of a winter evening. Whoever would have guessed at anything like this for the two of us, even a year ago?

"Hey, Kaidan. Pass the popcorn!" 

We're still eating most of it before it makes it to the string.

 


	6. Uncle John

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part of the family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Family gathering at the Alenko family orchard. It's Kaidan's voice and includes characters introduced in [Family Matters](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3911497). (Rated G)
> 
> Day 6: Family

 

"Wait, Kaidan... here's one more thing!"

I smile, knowing better than to get in John's way as he goes on a shopping spree. The man who won't buy a new jacket – _my old N7 hoodie is all I need_ – and wears jeans until they're threadbare is on the loose in a toy store. 

This will be the second Christmas for my little cousin, Grace. Of course last year she was only a couple months old and the holiday for me passed almost unnoticed as I kept watch beside John's hospital bed where he lay in a coma. 

So we're planning to make it up to her this year. Her mom, Isla, says Grace probably won’t remember much of the details of it, but we'll take pictures to share with her when she's older. 

We're going over to the orchard a week before Christmas to meet up with them and spend a day together. Sean and Isla plan to spend Christmas itself with Sean's family in Edmonton. This time last year he was MIA and I'm sure they were worried sick about him. Mom and I had both been so afraid that little Grace would never have a chance to know her father. When he'd been found alive in a remote hospital in Australia, I was so happy for them. Not too many people missing as long as Sean had been were ever found alive. 

"What did you find, Shepard?"

I'm already carrying around two picture books and a stuffed elcor (who looks suspiciously like Eeyore from the Winnie-the-Pooh books), along with a little shirt adorned with stars and planets. Isla might roll her eyes, but at least it's not Blasto. 

As John holds up his latest find, I don't even try to smother my laughter. It is absolutely the cuddliest little plush krogan I've ever seen. 

"He kind of looks like a baby Wrex, don't you think?"

"Can't dispute the resemblance. Just don't tell Wrex that."

"Why not? He might like one for one of his kids too! Let me see if they have another one."

Shaking my head, I steer us toward the payment station. But we're not done. He's spotted a gift-wrapping kiosk and of course these all need to be festive. I slip my newly empty arms around him and lean my cheek against his back. 

"Did I ever tell you that you make a pretty amazing uncle?"

"I hope so, Kaidan. I never had much family, you know. Now I get to enjoy yours."

"Ours. Grace won't make any distinction between us. We're both family to her."

"We always will be." He squeezes my hand before picking up an armful of packages, leaving the rest to me.

__________________________________

 

When we arrive at the orchard, it's sunny but cold. Probably too cold to sit out on the porch for long. There's been a recent snowfall, and some lingers on the tree branches and covers the ground. But the house is warm, full of people and music and laughter. 

There's never been much formality in the Alenko household. Mom is out to make sure no one starves and I can smell at least three kinds of pie cooling on the rack. It's mostly adults, but one of Mom's nieces is visiting from Singapore along with her son, a year or two older than Grace. I whisper to John that maybe Grace wouldn't miss one of the storybooks if we gave it to Tam so he'd have a present too. 

As it happens, Mom already thought about that, so everybody has things to open. Shy of all the strangers at first, Grace stays close to her dad's wheelchair, occasionally venturing out to investigate. Her eyes get ahead of her feet sometimes, but she's pretty good-natured about the tumbles and lets pretty much any of us help her get back up on her feet to go again. 

She doesn't need much help with tearing into the wrapping paper, and once the packages are all open, Grace's favorite present is, of course, the plush krogan. I think I got a pretty good series of pics on my omnitool as John, lying on his stomach on the floor with the stuffed elcor, pretends to be afraid of the fierce krogan she's dragging around by one arm. 

His hip is going to remind him of this later, but he's having such a good time, I'd never say anything to discourage the game. Grace seems to make friends with him easily and I haven't seen him smile so much in a long time.

__________________________________

 

During naptime for the kids, John and I slip away for a few minutes of quiet time ourselves. He doesn't object when I offer to massage the leg muscles that threaten to tighten up on him. 

"Kaidan, this is more people related to each other than I've ever seen in once place."

"Yeah. I haven't made it to many family gatherings since I enlisted. I got back home to see my folks a time or two, but no one else, really. Isla was a young teenager when I last saw her... now look at her. She's a mom herself. And she told me just a little while ago that Grace is going to have a brother next year."

"So you'll be an uncle again! Your mom must be excited about it too."

"Oh yeah. She loved having Isla and Grace staying with her last year. It was good for her too. Gave her things to think about beside Dad being MIA."

John reaches for my hand and pulls me against him on the bed. "I wish your father could be here today. He has a pretty amazing family." 

He kisses me gently and rests his forehead against mine. "Especially his son. Love you, Kaidan."

__________________________________

 

After a huge dinner and way too much dessert, it's time to start gathering things up to head home. Mom has a house full of guests already, so I don't want her to have to worry about putting us up. It's not that long a drive home for us, and we'll be back on Christmas Eve when things will be quieter. 

Looking around for John, I find him with Grace on his lap, reading one of the books to her. She's still hugging the little krogan, but starting to look sleepy. He catches my eye and murmurs 'almost done.' After ' _The End_ ' she slips off his lap and comes over to me looking for a hug. 

"Merry Christmas, Grace. You take good care of your mom and dad, okay?" I give the little krogan a pat on the head. "And this little guy too."

John stoops down to give her a hug and then takes her hand to go find Isla, with Mom in the kitchen. 

"I'm so glad you two could be here. Grace seems to think her uncles are the best ever. Hope we'll see you both again soon."

John smiles and offers her a hug too. "You can count on it. I've never been an uncle before... and I like it!"

__________________________________

 

He's pretty quiet during the drive home. Scanning for a weather report to get driving conditions, we run across a radio station playing Christmas songs, so we just let that play. I'm not sure if John has fallen asleep or is just thinking about things. 

"Kaidan, thank you. That was a really good day."

"Yeah. I was thinking that too. Do you remember those nights on the _Normandy_... looking out at the stars and wondering if there'd ever be good days again?"

He reaches over to rest his hand on my leg. "It's what we fought for. Just glad we won."

"Me too, John. Me too."

 


	7. Carol

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our very first Christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place thirteen months after the end of the Reaper war, at their home near Vancouver. It's Kaidan's voice and includes his flashback memories of a year earlier at the hospital in London. (Rating: Teen)
> 
> Day 7: Christmases Past

 

It was a bad night. 

One of the worst since I got back to Earth on the _Normandy_ and found Shepard alive. His doctors told me there would be ups and downs, and maybe it would be better if I didn't sit by his side to see them all. I should go to my assigned quarters to sleep and they would tell me if he took a serious turn for the worse.

Yeah. Right, like that was gonna happen. If there was a serious turn for the worse, it's for damn sure that I needed to be right there as he weathered it. I sure as hell didn't push the crippled _Normandy_ back to Earth using more FTL than Joker said was really advisable just to sleep in a bed while Shepard fought for his life. 

This was one of those nights when I was glad I'd pushed for every last bit of speed. 

Despite all precautions, Shepard was fighting an infection. Or a rejection of one of the grafts or transplants. No one could say for sure yet, knowing only that his damaged lungs were filling with fluid and his fever was spiking. And paradoxically he was chilled and shivering uncontrollably. 

I had to pace the hallway outside his room while his medical team tried to stabilize him, pumping him full of antibiotics and anti-rejection drugs alike as well as trying to reduce his fever. All I could hear from outside the room was the steady click of the ventilator that kept oxygen supplied to his brain and body. 

The pulse of that ventilator became my touchstone. As long as it continued, I told myself, Shepard was alive and fighting. I didn't let myself think about complications, not even brain damage. He just needed to _live_ and we'd sort out the rest.

There had been a hospital-wide power failure the day before... and it was a very long moment before the backup generator kicked in and the ventilator restarted. Power is iffy all over London – hell, probably all over Earth... but I kept reminding myself that this was the best possible place for him. 

They finally let me back in his room not long before midnight. He was ashen, every new scar on his face and body fiery red in contrast. The drugs were helping, they said, and his fever had dropped a little. But he was still shivering. 

I remember taking his free hand in mine and just willing every bit of my own warmth into that cold hand. 

The only sound was the ventilator and an occasional ping from some monitor or another. That and my endless stream of whispered words to him, begging him to fight, to live, to stay with me. That we'd come too far to lose everything now. 

That I couldn't bear to lose him again.

Suddenly there was a new sound, one from outside, from a distance but carrying clearly on the night air.

It was a bell. Somewhere in London, a bell was ringing at midnight. This is the first time I'd heard it and it surprised the hell out of me. As I listened, the deep peal was joined by other chimes, maybe more distant. I wondered for a moment if those bells had been rung the night the war ended too, as the Reapers fell from the sky and the survivors celebrated life. 

But why this night?

When the sound echoed into silence, I heard another, closer, sound. Coming from the hallway outside the room, it sounded like a voice... was someone _singing_? Releasing Shepard's hand and placing it gently at his side, I got up to open the door. The sound was getting closer. It was one of the nurses, her coat on, ready to go off-shift. 

She was singing softly – her alto voice burnished and beautiful. I went back to John's bedside and took his hand in mine again as she stood in the doorway and sang to him... to us. 

_Silent night..._

I realized it must be Christmas. And knew this was a gift. I held John's hand tightly between both of mine and I don't know, maybe it was just my hope, but I thought I felt him relax a little, the shivering dissipating. 

_... sleep in heavenly peace._

As she finished the song, I turned and whispered my thanks. And added a wish for a peaceful Christmas. Somehow 'merry' didn't seem right. Peace was what we all needed most.

Alone with him again, I bent to kiss John's palm and his fingertips. I was crying... the first time since I got back to Earth. I'd been trying so hard to hold them back, to be strong for him, but a few tears had welled up and I finally stopped fighting them. A corner of my fleece jacket served to dry the tears that fell onto John's hand, since he didn't have a blanket due to his fever. I think I fell asleep holding his hand that night. 

By morning, his condition had stabilized. And he never had a crisis that frightening again.

____________________________________________________

 

I'm not sure why I'm remembering our first Christmas so vividly tonight as I lay next to him watching him sleep. It's still a few days before this year's Christmas. We're at home, in our own bed, and there are no bells. 

Maybe it was the music. We'd been playing Christmas music from my omnitool all evening in the living room and probably forgot to turn it off when we went to bed. A little distracted at the time. I guess it finished the playlist, and I remember that the last track programmed was _Silent Night_. 

Right now, all I want to do is find John's hand and hold it. His chest is my pillow tonight, with our legs entangled and his arm holding me close as we fell asleep. I find his other hand and wrap mine around it. His hand is always a little cold, but I warm it gladly. 

I don't want to wake him, and simply rest both our hands over his heart and whisper as I close my eyes. The same words I'd murmured to him countless times in the hospital.

"I love you... will love you always."

 


	8. Snow Play

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unexpected defense

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At the Alenko family orchard. It's Kaidan's voice. (Rating: Teen)
> 
> Day 8: Snow Day

 

"Hey, Kaidan!"

Turning my head toward the sound of his voice, I wave as Shepard steps off the back porch, making his way carefully toward me. He's stepping a bit gingerly through the several inches of fresh snow blanketing the path from the house to the garden.

"Hey John! Watch your footing there, okay? It's not too slippery but I don't know how long it's been since you tromped through snow."

"I'm okay." He waves his cane to show me he has it with him, but he's not using it. Seems to be managing pretty well actually. "Haven't seen this much snow since Novaria though."

"Yeah, I figured. Looks like you're getting around okay in it though. Even without a Mako."

"What's up? Did your mom put you to work?"

Shaking snow off my gloves, I wrap an arm around him as soon as he gets close enough. "I thought I'd be done with this before you finished breakfast, sleepyhead."

"Missed you... figured I'd have breakfast with you later. Not too much fun to eat alone. Elena left a note on the table... said she'd gone into town early."

"Yeah, she was getting low on eggs, and was going to stop at the hardware store while she's there. I'm trying to repair a broken section of fence around her kitchen garden here. Looks like some critter - deer probably – leaned hard against it and the weight of this last snow pushed it down to the ground."

Pulling off my knit beanie, I wipe the back of my wrist across my forehead. "Worked up a bit of sweat wearing all these layers. What about you? Warm enough?"

He nods as I note that he'd put on a warm sweater under his leather jacket and has a scarf wrapped around his neck. That's a major concession for him, and I smile as I tug on it a little. "Looks good to me. Want to help?"

"Sure. What can I do?"

"Just hold this fencepost in place. I need to get a different shovel from the shed. I'll be right back."

It's a quick trip, but I pause on the way back, admiring the sight of him braced against the fencepost in those tight jeans. And I can't resist the evil impulse to reach down and scoop up a handful of the wet snow. Forming it into a sloppy ball, I take aim just as I call out. "Heads up, Shepard!" 

He wasn't expecting me from this direction and my aim was good, the snowball smacking him on the ass. I meet his surprised look with a smile and a shrug. "Too tempting a target, sorry!"

"Okay, it's on now, Alenko! Once you relieve me of fencepost duty, you'll never know what hit you." He's laughing as he brushes he snow off his behind, testing some of it between his gloved fingers to see how well it clumps together. 

"Yeah, yeah. We'll see! Let's get that post planted first though. The rest of the job will have to wait for Mom to get back with a roll of fencing. I thought we'd have some spare lying around, but I guess not."

With two of us, the job goes fast and we head back toward the house. I'm looking forward to a hot cup of coffee. Walking more slowly, John falls behind by a few paces and before I know it, his retaliatory strike hits my shoulder with a splat. 

"Guess you need some target practice, Shepard. Don't tell me you weren't aiming a little lower."

His grin acknowledges my tactical assessment. "I'll get you yet, Kaidan!" 

I'm pretty quick at the stoop and scoop maneuver – I've had years of practice at it after all, growing up here. He definitely wasn't ready for me to fire back so fast.

But he surprises the hell out of me – and maybe himself too, judging by the look on his face. He's surrounded by a glowing blue biotic barrier, the snowball deflected. 

"John! I haven't seen you raise a barrier since..."

"Since London... yeah. Kaidan, I don't know how that happened just now. Thought I caught a glimpse of you aiming a shot and... it was suddenly just there."

"I don't think I've seen you use any biotics since then. Have you tried at all since you were injured?"

He shakes his head. "Only once, when I was still in the hospital... I don't think you were around. I just wanted to see if I could do anything at all. I tried one of the exercises Samara taught me... but nothing. Nothing at all."

"Not surprised. You were still so weak, I doubt you'd have had the energy to do much with it, no matter how strong your biotics were."

"Yeah... I don't think mine were ever really strong even with the Cerberus L5, but Samara taught me to form a barrier, and then you showed me how to make it stronger and last longer." 

"Try raising the barrier again."

He concentrates, flexing his left hand in the motion he associates with the action, but nothing happens.

I take his hand, wondering if the injury to it has altered the gesture enough to prevent triggering the biotics, as we make our way back to the porch. I'd cleared the snow off the steps earlier, before Mom went out, and we sat down there. 

"Try it again now. Let's see if you can control it. Just do what I showed you about letting the biotics flare around your hand... Don't try to raise a barrier just yet."

His brow furrows and he bites his lip as he flexes his hand repeatedly. "Still nothing."

"The ability is still there, you'll just need to work on learning to control it again. It was pretty amazing to see it just be there when you needed it though. We should probably plan to start doing those exercises together again."

He nods, looking at his hand like it belongs to someone else. "I dunno, Kaidan. I hope it will come back. This hand though... "

"I don't think it's your hand. It's the whole package - mind, energy level, focus... everything. The gesture is just a trigger for the muscle memory. You haven't even eaten today. You know you need to eat if you're doing to do much with biotics."

"Yeah. Good point. I do think I'd like to get that ability back. I might not be able to shoot straight yet, but knowing I could at least protect myself in a firefight... that's a good thing."

"Let's try one more thing before we go find some breakfast then. Do you trust me?"

"Do you even have to ask that, Kaidan? You know I do."

"Okay, then. Walk back down the path toward the garden. Take it slow... you don't want to slip."

His eyes look a little wary. "You're not going to smack me with another snowball are you?"

"Just trust me, John."

He does walk away from me, and I do scoop up enough for a small snowball. Just as gets close to the garden gate, I call out. "Shepard! Turn around!" And I let fly the snowball, aiming at his lower legs. 

And once again, before it makes contact, the barrier is up. I run over to him and wrap him in my arms. "It wasn't a fluke. Some part of you remembers... and it's strong. You'll get it all back."

He's smiling now as he kisses me. And before I realize it, he's bending to scoop up a handful of snow and slipping it down the back of my sweater... 

"Shit! Low blow, Shepard!"

"Turn about, Major. I use whatever weapon is at hand. I promised I'd get your ass with a snowball, one way or another."

Despite the cold wetness sliding down my backside, I couldn't be happier. This is a side of him that I haven't seen in far too long. 

"Truce?"

He nods and offers me his hand. "Truce. Breakfast time."

But when we get back in the house and I strip off my wet clothes, thoughts of food get pushed to the back burner. His hands are surprisingly warm on my back as they slide lower... and his lips are even warmer pressed against my neck. 

I let my own biotics flare as we tumble together onto the bed. "If you ask nicely, maybe I can show you some other exercises to exercise your biotics..."

His voice is throaty as he pulls me on top of him. "Sounds good to me... you're the boss."

"Okay... later. Right now, I like your ideas."

 


	9. Warmth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Traditions and a promise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At the Alenko family orchard. It's Shepard's voice. (Rating: G)
> 
> Day 9: Holiday Baking

 

"Something sure does smell good!"

Kicking off my snowy boots and hanging my wet jacket on a peg to dry, I follow Kaidan's nose into the kitchen. 

"It's the honey cookies." Elena slides the cookies from the baking sheet onto a cooling rack and begins rolling out another portion of dough. "Ukrainian Christmas honey cookies... it was Michael's grandmother's recipe."

Kaidan starts to reach for one, but pulls his hand back, laughing. "I always do that and I always burn my mouth. Better to wait for the icing on them anyway." He starts the coffeemaker instead. "These were Dad's favorite. And I can't argue with that. They're right up there on my list too."

"Ukrainian? Your dad's family roots?" They do look tempting. I can almost feel my fingers twitching to reach for one.

"Yeah. My grandfather was Canadian-Ukrainian – his mom had moved here as a child with her family. They lived about 300 km northeast of here, in Revelstoke. It's been a railroad town, a ski resort... I guess now it's probably mostly parkland outside the town. There are still Ukrainian festivals there though.

"Are those the folks who planted the orchard here?"

Giving up on the idea of filching a hot cookie, I settled for a fresh cup of tea, wrapping my still-cold hands around the mug even before I stir in some honey.

Kaidan is still waiting for his coffee to brew. "My grandfather and his brothers started it together. He was military, and spent a lot of time deployed without his family, but Dad and his sister grew up here at the orchard with their mother and uncles. When his father retired, he took over the orchard full time."

Elena has been cutting out the cookies with old tin cookie cutters – stars, crescent moons, hearts. She left a section of the rolled dough uncut and is searching for something in one of the cabinet drawers.

"Is there a significance to the shapes?" 

Kaidan shakes his head. "Not really. Not much any more. When I was a kid, we had a tradition to hang a cookie for each family member on the Christmas tree... we all picked out our own shape for that. Mine was a star and Mom's was a heart."

"So your dad's was the moon?"

Elena has returned with another cookie cutter and stamps out just one with that shape – a tree. "This was Michael's." 

She places the larger tree cookie carefully in the middle of the cookie sheet and surrounds it with the smaller ones before sliding it into the hot oven. 

"I know we haven't hung them on the tree for years now, but maybe it's a good time to start doing it again." She pauses and puts all of the cutters aside. "I thought we should still include his cookie, Kaidan."

Wordlessly, Kaidan reaches for his mother's flour-covered hand and pulls her into a hug. I take a slow sip of tea and wrap my hand around the mug again before finding my voice. 

"I like that idea a lot, Elena. Will there be one for each of the rest of us too? The moon seems like a good one for me."

Elena slips out of her son's arms and wipes her hand on her apron before rubbing the back of her forearm across her eyes. The gesture is so much like the one I've seen Kaidan use so often. I guess I now know where it came from.

"The first batch is probably cool enough to taste if you like, John. If you want yours decorated, little one, I'll do that when the last batch is ready."

"I think I'll have one as is, Mom. They smell great." He gets up and gets a small plate from the cupboard, as well as his cup of coffee. Arranging a few of the cookies on the plate, he offers it to me and to his mother before popping one into his mouth. "These as good as I remembered. How long has it been since I've been here for Christmas? Too long, for sure."

"I think you came home at Christmas after basic training. We only saw you once or twice after that, usually in the summer."

"Yeah. Hard to plan shoreleave for a particular time of year. And usually you're nowhere near Earth."

I've just finished my second cookie. "These are great! If you want to save some for the tree, you'd better tell me to stop eating them. And I don't need icing... I like to taste the honey and spices."

"John, when I invited your mother for Christmas, I asked whether she had any cookie recipes that you especially liked."

I shake my head, laughing at the thought. "I can guess what she probably said. She couldn't do any baking on the ships we lived on. We had a cooktop and a microwave. Sometimes a small toaster oven."

"Yes, I understand. I should have thought about that before I asked the question. I hope it didn't embarrass her."

I nearly sputter on my sip of tea. "Embarrassed? Hannah Shepard doesn’t know the word, not when it comes to life on her ships. She was living her dream, Elena. If it meant she couldn't do things like bake, then that was a small price to pay. We did sometimes get store-bought cookies in the supply crates. I remember getting some once that were labeled Christmas cookies – so we had Christmas in July that year."

"Sounds like a nice surprise. Hannah said something like that when she thanked me for the invitation. And said if it looked like a cookie and smelled good, you'd probably like it."

"Yeah. She knows I never said no to any of them."

Kaidan has been pretty quiet, his eyebrows betraying his concentration on something beyond the immediate conversation.

"Mom, I've been thinking, listening to all this talk about life on starships." He pauses, maybe collecting those thoughts. "There's something I want us to do. The _Normandy_ is still being refitted, but when she's flying again, I'd like to invite you along on a little cruise. I know you've never been off Earth... and well, I promised myself that after the war was over, I'd take you off-world. Not a big trip... but enough that you'd get to see how Earth and the stars look from out there."

I move my leg close to his under the table, pressing against it gently so he'll know I remember that night and that promise. 

"Oh, little one... I think I'd like that."

I reach across the table to squeeze her hand. "It's a plan then. I'd like to get back out there myself. Get another look at Earth from space. It's a beautiful view."

Kaidan echoes my thoughts and words. "The best."

 


	10. Mistletoe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Then and now...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few nights before Christmas at the Alenko family orchard. Remembering their past. It's Shepard's voice. (Rating: Teen)
> 
> Day 10: Writer's Choice (Mistletoe)

 

"Want another beer, Shepard?"

"Sure... if you've got more of the good stuff."

"Yeah. Canada's finest. Be right there...” Kaidan's reply is a little muffled. He probably had to go to the back pantry fridge since we may possibly have cleaned out the lager supply in his mom's kitchen. 

"Here you go... how about moving your ass over here."

That's a request I'm happy to oblige. Kaidan is sitting in the corner of the big L-shaped sofa in front of the fireplace and I scoot over to sit between his legs, resting back against his chest, before taking a drink. 

"It's cold enough in the pantry that the beer hardly needed to be in the cooler. Good thing it's warmer here, eh Shepard? 

"Damn good thing you're always warm, Kaidan."

He leans forward to press a kiss to my forehead and I wrap an arm around his leg, rubbing my hand along it slowly, no real purpose except I like touching him. 

"Feels good to have a evening to just kick back and do nothing. Mom messaged me... said she might just stay over with Aunt Lea since the wind is kicking up and she doesn't really want to drive home in the snowstorm if there's no need. Told her we'd be fine."

"Yeah... definitely fine. We've got everything we need." I take another drink. I didn't think I'd ever be a lager fan, but Kaidan has pretty good taste in beer. "Did you ever think we'd get to have times like this together? Like when we were on the Normandy?"

"Sure... kind of wishful thinking though, with the Reapers in the picture. I was lucky to get you alone for five minutes let alone a whole evening or a night together." He reaches for my hand, squeezing it. "Don't get me wrong. I loved every minute we did have... especially when I could get you to relax a little."

"What about back on the old Normandy SR1?"

I can feel him startle. "You and me? Did I ever think about it back then? Yeah... you know now that I did sometimes. Just daydreaming what it might be like. Nothing I expected to happen though. You weren't interested in anybody. Just focused on the mission."

"Hey! How do you know that? Maybe I was interested in Liara... or Garrus..."

Kaidan laughs and I can feel it against my back. "You and Liara? Or Garrus... right. That was so gonna happen." He pauses for a moment. "Well... I don't actually know which would have been more unlikely. She was interested... I dunno about Garrus. Never saw him with a guy."

I take another long swallow. "Me either, actually. But how do you know I never tried?"

Kaidan goes quiet for a moment. "Because of the mistletoe."

Okay, I need to see if he's serious. I sit up and shift our positions to sit next to him with my arm draped around his shoulder. 

"Mistletoe? On the old Normandy?" A memory is stirring in the back of my mind, but I want him to tell me. And maybe he's had enough beers to get through the telling.

"Yeah. Some scheme Ash cooked up one night in the Mess just before Christmas. She'd been wondering out loud if you were interested in anybody on the ship. I said I doubted it, but she was determined to try to figure it out. So she said it called for a mistletoe test."

"A test? You're kidding, right?" He's not kidding. He could drink a lot more than we have and still be sober enough to tell the story. 

"Nope. Not kidding. She wanted to hang bits of mistletoe... fake mistletoe, god knows where she got it... in strategic locations and see if you noticed them and shall we say, availed yourself of the opportunity to kiss someone senseless. I don't know... something like that."

I actually hadn't known that part. "Interesting plan. Where did she put these little traps? Let me guess – her station, Tali's... probably back in Liara's place... anywhere else?"

Kaidan's cheeks are reddening just enough to encourage me to press the issue. "Yeah... maybe I added a few spots. But mostly I moved around the ones Ash hung up when she wasn't around. Moved hers over to Wrex's station. He gave me a what the fuck look but I told him it was an experiment, not to worry about it. Moved the one by Tali over near Garrus' workbench and Liara's... I put that in Sickbay."

"Those are interesting choices. What are the chances I was going to kiss Wrex? Not that he isn't a good-looking krogan, mind you."

Kaidan snorts. "Somewhere close to zero, but it might have been fun to see his reaction... from the far side of the room." His eyes darken a little as he continues. "I did mention it to Chakwas..."

"Oh? What did you tell her?" We're getting to the part I remember. 

He focuses his attention his beer bottle, picking at the label with a blunt fingernail. "I asked her to help out. Not to wait for you to notice anything, just get you under that mistletoe and kiss you. I would just happen to be nearby to witness it so I could tell Ash. Thought I might save you some embarrassment, you know?"

I lift a hand to cup Kaidan's reddened cheek and lean in to kiss him softly. "Yeah. She did that. Surprised the hell out of me. She just said 'Merry Christmas, Commander' and slipped away before I could ask any questions. I apologized the next time I saw her and she asked 'For what? for sharing a kiss with a friend?' She's the best, Kaidan... or maybe almost the best." I slide my fingers from his cheek up into his hair, some of the dark strands falling over his forehead as I do.

"I have one more question though. Didn't you forget to mention a couple of the locations for the mistletoe?"

The blush deepens to a bright red. "Yeah... skipped those. I guess you saw the one in the doorway to your cabin. The other one..."

"It's okay, Kaidan. I also saw the one hanging over your station just outside my cabin. I figured someone was trying to prank you and took it down. Didn't want you to be embarrassed..."

"John, I put it there myself. I don't know. A silly thing, really. But I wouldn't have complained if it worked, you know?"

Setting my empty bottle on the floor, I gather him up in my arms and pull him over onto my lap. My hip makes no protest and I forget to even think about whether it hurts or not as my mouth finds his. When a low moan escapes, I deepen the kiss, parting my lips, opening to him, loving the mingled taste of beer and Kaidan on his tongue. His hands are working their way beneath my sweatshirt, fingertips brushing nipples into hardness. 

"John... I wanted you then, yes... but not anywhere near as much as I want you right now."

I'm sure he can feel how much I'm wanting him... "I was getting hard just now, imagining we were back on the old Normandy and I surprised you at your station with a kiss on your neck and my hands on your hips... turning you around to face me..."

His eyes darken, lips parted, imagining it with me. He presses his hips against me, rubbing his erection against mine through our sweatpants. Suddenly he pulls back to meet my eyes and stops moving against me. 

"It wouldn't have been the same then, John. Not if you hadn't really thought about me that way back then. It might have been more of an impulse, a game. I had my fantasies... maybe you did too, I don't know." 

"I didn't play those games, Kaidan."

He suddenly sounds not drunk at all, his amber brown eyes clear and intense. "I know. And I want _this_ John Shepard... the one who came to his own realization that he loved me. The one who kissed me in London promising to be back, telling me I'd better show up. The one who nearly died... but did come back to me. You, John."

"Kaidan..." I don't know if I'm overwhelmed or just so wound up with wanting him that I can't think straight. "Come to bed with me... please? I need you."

He's on his feet, both hands reaching for mine. As we stumble over our feet a little on the way to the staircase, he steadies me with an arm around my waist. He's always been there to catch me when I stumble... I don't know if that's a drunk thought or not, but it's one I want to remember.

We get each other undressed and just before we fall together onto the bed, I notice the sprig of mistletoe – real mistletoe – looped around the bedpost of the old bed. 

I don't waste the opportunity this time by pulling it down. I simply kiss him.

 


	11. In Harmony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stars and carols

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On Christmas Eve at the Alenko family orchard. It's Kaidan's voice. (Rated Teen)
> 
> Day 11: Christmas Eve

 

"So many stars."

"Yeah. I remember nights like this... when a storm front passes and the sky clears."

"Beautiful sight, Kaidan. I probably never appreciated them as much when I lived out there among them all my life."

"They look different from space – so many of them. Here you can pick out individual stars, constellations... I always liked thinking about Orion. What was he aiming for? Did he ever hit his target? Sorry... maybe I had too much of the spiced cider. Adding the shot of whiskey was a good thought."

We're standing out on the porch. That storm left a half-meter of snow and the moonlight is making the tree limbs sparkle. I was getting too warm inside by the fire, probably another effect of the whiskey, but it feels great out here. 

"You warm enough, John?"

"Pretty much, yeah. There's no wind up here and I have my ways to stay warm." He slips his arm around the back of my waist and movs closer, sheltering against my side with my own arm wrapped around his shoulders.

The silence has been almost uncanny. But it's broken now by the low drone of strings as Mom tunes her cello. Doesn't take long before the formless notes coalesce into a Bach prelude.

"I hope you like music. Mom's tradition is to play for a couple of hours before midnight on Christmas Eve, pretty much non-stop."

I feel more than see the shake of John's head. "It suits the night. I like that better tonight than our usual omni-tool mix."

"Yeah. She plays through some classical favorites of hers and mixes them up with some carols. I guess she used to play _Rudolph_ for me when I was a kid, but that was a long time ago... a life time ago, seems like."

The Bach has morphed into _Silver Bells_ , and I tighten my arm around John, turning him toward me for a kiss. Cupping the back of his head with my hand, I stroke fingertips over his short prickly hair and trace the curve of his ear. "Sure you don't need a hat? Your ear feels cold."

"I'm fine, Kaidan. Let's just enjoy the night from here for a while longer. I like how the music sounds out here – muted but clear, like it's part of this place... if that makes any sense. What the hell do I know about Christmas Eve on Earth? But this is making a great first memory of it."

_It came upon the midnight clear..._ Words I thought I'd long forgotten come back to me as the melody swells and ebbs. I kiss him softly. We have a long night ahead and don't want to get ahead of ourselves.

"I'm glad. Just happy to share it with you, John."

___________________________

 

Eventually he isn't able to hide his shivering and we go back inside, stopping in the kitchen to ask if he'd wants more spiced cider or if hot cocoa sounds better. 

"Cider for me... light on the whiskey. But you have whatever you want."

I ladle out a cup for him from the pot of cider kept warm on the stove, and make a cup of hot cocoa for me. In my book, nothing says Christmas like hot chocolate!

"How did I know you'd add marshmallows?"

"You know me too well, Shepard. It's either that or scrounge up the Bailey's and I think I'll just go for sweet right now."

I think about whether I should disturb Mom's concentration, but decide to ask if I can bring her something. She surprises me by asking for a hot cocoa as well. 

When I bring her a steaming mug, John is eyeing the packages that have been appearing under the tree. "I guess you don't do Christmas Eve present-opening at your house, Kaidan?"

My laugh is unbidden - but it's just so typically Shepard to be an impatient kid about wrapped presents. "Nope, you have to wait to Christmas morning. Probably after breakfast."

"Kaidan, you're cruel. Elena, did he always wait so patiently?"

Mom smiles over her mug. "No. He did not. Not always anyway. He always got to pick one thing to open when he first came downstairs in the morning. But Michael was a self-described grouch in the morning before he had his coffee, so we always waited to open the rest."

I almost miss hearing John's wry comment. 'Like father, like son, apparently." 

But Mom is nodding agreement with his assessment. "Very much so, in many ways."

She veers off on a tangent before I can start feeling more embarrassed. "What about your father, John? What was he like?"

Sitting close to him on the couch, I can feel him tensing up. He's never talked much about his father, even to me. Only that he'd been KIA by Batarians when John was fourteen. I reach for his hand.

"Tall. Taller than me, I think. Strong, but not bulky... looked more like a distance runner. Short dark hair... regulation Alliance cut, I guess. Kind of greenish-brown eyes... He told bad jokes and laughed at his own puns. Mom would roll her eyes at those. I don't know... kind of reserved. Always good to me and my mom, but focused on his missions..."

I don't know if Mom recognizes John in his description of Liam Shepard, but to me it's like John is holding up a mirror to himself. I stroke my thumb over his fingers as they curl into mine. 

Mom comes to his rescue. "He sounds like he was a handsome man and a good father. I think I can see him in you." 

He's uncomfortable again... or still. "Yeah, I guess. I didn't know him as an adult."

"A child's impression can be pretty accurate." 

Maybe sensing his unease, she picks up her cello and bow again. "I apologize for stirring up memories, John. Would you like to join me on the next song? The keyboard is all set up for you if you feel like it. You'd don't have to, but I'd love to play it with you."

I know Mom has been giving John some piano lessons, ostensibly to serve as therapy for his injured left hand, but I think she also just loves sharing music and I was probably a terrible pupil when I was a kid. I like music a lot, but never felt any good at playing it.

I'm not sure whether to be surprised or not when John drops my hand and goes over to the keyboard. But I'm glad to see it. 

"I'll start with the first verse so you can feel the tempo, okay? Then you can join in when you're ready."

He nods and his fingers find their places on the keyboard as she starts playing. 

It's _Silent Night_. Immediately, I'm thrown back to Christmas Eve a year ago, to the hospital, hearing a young woman singing it to us just after midnight. Lost in the memory, I almost don't notice when the rich tones of the cello are joined by John's slow and deliberate melody on the piano. 

"Use both hands if you want to, John. You're doing great."

His left hand isn't ready for playing full chords yet, but he's using more than one finger at a time, which seems like a triumph. After playing through the part that he knew, her cello takes back the melody and continues to play, a simple and beautiful version. 

Self-conscious, John has slipped back to sit beside me again and I take both his hands in mine. I kiss him and whisper that it was beautiful to hear and that I'm so proud of him. He smiles at me as Mom brings the carol to a close.

"Thank you. It's been a long time since I've played with anyone. It felt wonderful, John."

She modulates into another carol and Shepard lifts a hand to my face, wiping away a few stray tears on my cheek. I'll tell him later why they were there.

He shifts position, stretching his legs out on the couch and laying his head in my lap. I whisper that I don't mind if he falls asleep... that I used to sometimes fall asleep on the floor by the fireplace watching the tree lights. "I thought they looked like stars."

___________________________

 

John has drifted off by the time it gets close to midnight. Mom has been playing continuously for the past hour. She has her own sense of internal timing I guess, because just as the old clock on the mantle chimes once for midnight, she shifts into one last song. 

I knew what it would be. It was my father's favorite carol, _I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day_... She always ended with that one. I look up to see her eyes on me, and can tell she's been crying a little as she plays. But it doesn't stop her... she seems not to want to stop at all. But she finally draws out one long last phrase and lets the strings ring into silence before she puts down the bow and nods to me. 

John doesn't wake as she puts the instrument away and pauses by the couch where we are. She bends down to kiss my forehead and whispers to me. "Merry Christmas, little one..." Touching John's shoulder lightly, she adds, "and to you, my other son."

Turning back to me she says she's going to go to bed. "Stay up as long as you like... don't disturb him. If anyone in the world deserves to rest peacefully on Christmas Eve, it would be him."

I nod and whisper in return. "Peace on earth, Mom... it's what he fought for."

After she's gone, I wonder if she realizes that I meant Dad as much as Shepard. I think she knew.

_________________________________________________

_and wild and sweet  
the words repeat  
of peace on earth, good-will to men!_

– Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

 


	12. Unexpected

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Best Christmas ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On Christmas day at the Alenko family orchard. It's Kaidan's voice. (Rating: Teen)
> 
> Day 12: Christmas Day/exchanging gifts

 

The whole world looks bright and sparkling. 

A glance out the bedroom window reveals the sunlit version of last night's shadowy snowscape. Here in bed, a still sleepy John stirs enough to blindly reach out to locate me. When his hand encounters my stomach, he curls his arm around me and burrows against my side, falling back into sleep. 

We finally went to bed at two o'clock when he woke up on the couch downstairs, head pillowed on my lap. He tried to slip away to use the bathroom without waking me, but I caught his hand and mumbled that we should go upstairs. 

After getting settled under the covers, we both fell asleep after a few kisses, and I didn't wake up until my omnitool pinged on quiet mode a few minutes ago. I reached for it without disturbing John and smiled at the message, firing off a quick acknowledgement.

Checking the clock, it looks like there's time to wake him properly, so I begin with some slow caresses on his hand and arm, continuing up to his chest and shoulder as he stirs and shifts closer. When I press a kiss to his neck, his eyes open and he smiles. 

"Hey... Merry Christmas!"

_________________________________

 

Finally out of the shower, I'm toweling my hair as Shepard sorts through his clothes drawer. Seeing him reach for a plain grey sweatshirt, I make another suggestion. "Why don't we dress up a little? It's our first Christmas together and I'm sure Mom is going to shoot a lot of pictures. We might as well look good."

He drops the shirt back into the drawer and catches me around the waist, kissing along my jawline as his hands wander lower. "You look pretty damn good to me just like this, Kaidan."

"Well, I appreciate that, but is this the photo you want Mom to display on the mantle for the next year? Not that I wouldn't like that shot for our private collection, maybe posed beside the tree?"

He sighs and nods in resignation. "Okay, you win. We'll make ourselves publicly presentable."

It's not formalwear, but I think we look pretty damn good as we make our way down the stairs toward the smell of coffee. Despite our year away from the Alliance, we both chose our favorite hoodies to wear with nice jeans. We'd shopped for more civvies, but unless we're going out someplace where he doesn't want to be recognized, John is still most comfortable in his N7 gear. 

"Hey Mom! Merry Christmas! Coffee ready?"

She smiles and offers me a cup, already sweetened. There's a pot of tea on the table by John's place, and he pours himself a cup as soon as he sits down. 

"So Kaidan – you're not running into the living room to see what Santa brought you? I thought I remember hearing something about opening one gift before breakfast?"

I take the chair across from John's at the table, shaking my head. "I can wait. Coffee is a lot higher priority now than when I was a kid. Or is it that you're itching to unwrap things?"

His leg nudging mine under the table reminds me of the comment he'd made early this morning, both of us still in bed, about the only package he wanted to open at the moment. He'd done just that, peeling back the blankets and sheet until he had a good view of the package of interest. I can feel my cheeks reddening at the memory of his hands and mouth on me as he explored thoroughly. 

Keeping my voice low, I murmur to him that he's one hell of a tease... and insatiable to boot. He just smiles, licks his lips and takes a sip of tea. 

Fortunately Mom arrives at the table with plates of waffle and bacon – enough to distract even John, since she brought him his own bowl of hot apple compote for his waffles. "Thanks, Elena! You remembered how much I like this. Leave the maple syrup to Kaidan. This is my favorite."

Mom smiles at him and pours syrup on her own waffle. "You two have plans for the day beyond opening presents?"

I shake my head. "No, nothing planned yet. Maybe a walk if the road is cleared some. I don't want to have to tromp through deep snow, and I'm not sure John is up for trying snowshoes yet. Might not feel great with a bad hip."

John pauses in mid-waffle to nod agreement. "We'll just play it by ear, Elena, unless you have something planned for us all."

Catching her eyes, I shake my head. "We can open presents after we finish eating then, unless Shepard here wants another waffle."

"Mmmm. Tempting, but I think I'm good. These are new jeans... and I'd like to still fit into them after the holidays."

_________________________________

 

The lighted tree looks a little different in daylight - you can see the various decorations more clearly. John seems to be having fun trying to figure out how some of them relate to my childhood interests.

"There's your little _Millennium Falco_ n..."

"Yeah, but it's broken. Han Solo doesn't talk much anymore."

"A shame. We should find you a new one maybe. Oh... there are the cookies we made the other day, with a shape for everyone in the family."

I reach for the crescent moon shaped one, turning it to see John's name written on it in white icing. "I see you did some icing work after all, Mom. These look great! I like seeing them on the tree again."

She smiles and points out a couple of other decorations – a pair of intricately hand-painted wooden eggs and a spun glass spider web - also reflecting Dad's Ukrainian roots. 

Meanwhile, John's attention has turned to the wrapped packages under the tree. He reaches for my hand and pulls me down on the floor next to him, presenting me with a fairly large flat package. "This is for you, Kaidan. I hope you won't mind..."

"What could you possible give me that I'd mind?" The dark green ribbon slips from the corners of the wrapping and I open the paper carefully. A frame... I turn it over. It's the sketch of the West Vancouver lighthouse that I did on our first visit to the orchard last summer. "John, you had this framed for me? You like it enough to want to hang it in our house?"

He reaches for my face with both hands and kisses me gently. "Yeah I do. I like it a lot. And I like what it means to you even more. Merry Christmas, Kaidan. Our first in Vancouver... first on Earth."

I'm still turning it in my hands. He had it professionally matted and the simple brushed metal frame leaves the entire focus on the drawing. I still don't know that it's worth that much attention, but I love that it means as much to him as it does to me.

"It's perfect. I don't know how to thank you." A kiss is all I can think of at the moment.

I glance around at the other presents, finally selecting a brightly wrapped box. "From the sublime to the ridiculous maybe. But before you open it let me tell you what it isn't." 

John pauses, the paper half torn already. "It's not a Carnifex. I want to give you a new one, but two things – we don't have a weapons locker here, so I didn't feel right bringing it, and more importantly, I want you to pick out the model you want. See what fits your grip best these days. I found a vendor, we just need to visit him on the Citadel."

"Kaidan, that sounds great! Maybe I can try out a couple different models... see what works best with my bad hand. Meanwhile, what is this I'm unwrapping?"

I laugh along with him as his energetic paper shredding reveals a boxed set of classic movies. "This is great stuff! The complete _Blasto_ movies – the Director's cuts! I can't wait to watch them all!" I know there's a _Blasto_ marathon coming up in the near future.

Mom hands John a small package, neatly wrapped in black paper with red and white ribbons. He makes short work of getting to the scarf she'd knit for him in N7 colors. It's a super-soft fine wool, long enough to wrap a couple of time around his neck. 

He puts it on immediately. "I like it! You made this, Elena? It's great!"

John is so occupied with finding all the little packages he'd wrapped for Mom that he doesn't seem to notice the sound of an air car landing outside near the garage. The doorbell chimes, and Mom catches my eye. 

"Sounds like we've got company." I get to my feet and offer John a hand so he can avoid stressing his knee. He's brushing tree needles off his hoodie when the door opens and two guests enter.

I've never seen the particular look on his face, and have seldom known him to be so speechless. The silver-haired woman dressed in Alliance blues shows no such hesitation. Crossing the room in a few strides, she lifts her hands to his shoulders, murmuring a greeting as she searches his eyes, the same blue as her own.

" _John!_ Oh sweetheart. Look at you... just look..." 

"Mom? How did you... I can't believe it..." He gives up trying to say anything at all and just wraps her in his arms, rocking back and forth together as she buries her face against his chest. 

I step away, joining Elena on the side of the room to give them some space.

When they break apart, both of them start asking and explaining at the same time, words tumbling out faster than either can absorb their meaning.

John pulls back first, looking around for me and reaching out his hand. I take it, clasping tightly as he introduces me to her as simply Kaidan. She starts to shake my hand, but abandons that thought and puts her arms around me for a warm hug. 

"Kaidan... so good to finally meet you. I cannot thank you enough for making this happen. I thought I was still weeks away, but somehow you pulled enough strings to get the _Normandy_ sent to pick me up."

"Being a Spectre has to be good for something, don't you think? And I think Hackett probably figured he owed it to both of you. John never asked for much of anything after the war."

John has finally noticed the man who had accompanied Hannah. "Steve! Come in! I assume we owe the favor of a shuttle to you."

Cortez smiles, glancing between Hannah and John. "Commander, I've always been _your_ shuttle pilot. Who else would anyone ask to get your mother to a reunion like this on time?"

Meanwhile, Elena has introduced herself and the two women exchange hugs. 

John is still incredulous. "Kaidan, you planned all this? You sneaky bastard. I still can't believe it. Elena, you were in on it too? Any more surprises?"

I can tell by the way John is shifting his weight as he stands that the time on the floor didn't do his hip any good, so I steer us to the couch, hoping everyone else will find seats as well. Hannah perches on the other arm of the L-shaped couch, as close as she can get to the corner where John is sitting with his leg stretched out in front of him.

"It's been a long time, sweetheart... _so_ long. Last year, I didn't know when or how I'd ever get back to Earth. Then you wrote to me. Your letters meant so much. You sounded happy. That's all I needed to know – you were alive and you were happy."

Elena is asking if she can get anyone coffee or a drink. I join her in the kitchen. "Thanks, Mom. It worked out perfectly. John is pretty overwhelmed, but he'll be okay. She's a lot more approachable than most Admirals I've known..."

"Right now, she's not an Admiral, little one. She's just a mother. One whose son was dead for two years... whose only child nearly died again a year ago. Maybe it takes being an admiral to be able to keep herself together as well as she does. I'd be a wreck, Kaidan."

"Yeah. But she's a Shepard. They both have a lot to catch up on. It won't be fast or easy. But they'll do it. I think we'll stick to the plan of going back to Vancouver tomorrow. There's less snow there, so she and John can take some walks together maybe... I don't know. Whatever they want to do."

She nods and hands me two cups of coffee, for Hannah and for Steve. I know he said he couldn't stay long, but he'll have time for that much. Mom stirs honey into a mug of tea for John. 

It makes me smile to see that she knows just how he likes it. I guess he has two mothers now.

_________________________________

 

The farmhouse is finally quiet. John and I are wrapped in each other's arms. He keeps trying to thank me.

"Kaidan... I owe you everything."

"You don't owe me anything. I love you. I wanted to make this Christmas something to remember."

He nuzzles his head against my bare shoulder, his hand resting on my chest. "It would have been that, no matter what. Our first one together. That's a big deal."

He goes quiet for a few minutes. It means a lot that silences between us can be as profound as words. 

"Kaidan, you gave me a family when I didn't have one, when my only relative was a voice on a comm call or brief words in a message. Now Mom and I can get reacquainted, maybe learn to be a family again."

I stroke his hair. Short as it is, the touch still comforts us both. And I can tell he has something more to say.

"As long as I've known you, you've made everything personal – the missions, the war. It was really all about the people, the families... Now I know why."

He sighs and I feel him relaxing as he turns his head just enough to brush his lips against my throat. "Love you, Kaidan. Best Christmas ever."

"Yeah, it is."

 


	13. One More GIft

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One more gift to exchange

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The day after Christmas at their home by Vancouver. It's Kaidan's voice. (Rating Teen)
> 
> Epilogue - Boxing Day

 

_Coffee?_

It's the one smell that would slip though any lazy morning sleep. I reach for John even though I should realize that if I'm smelling coffee, he's probably up already.

But my hand finds a warm shoulder and when I open my eyes, I'm greeted by an equally warm smile. "Morning... who's the sleepyhead today?"

I'm pulled closer and breathe a happy sigh at finding him here when I wake up. He promised once that he'd always wake me, and he's kept that promise – even though I sometimes chose not to do the same when we were at the orchard. I woke up early there, and loved watching him sleep, loved seeing his face without worry lines, just relaxed and peaceful. 

"I smell coffee..."

He smiles again. "Mom. She was always an early-bird and is probably still on some odd ship-time, so I showed her last night where we keep things in the kitchen. She's a coffee-drinker."

I kiss him gently, pretty sure we should be getting up to join her. "Obviously a woman of good taste. I hope she likes the choice of blends."

John's chuckle is warm and resonant. "After more than a year on a starship limping home... I'd say any fresh coffee would taste pretty damn good."

"Yeah... that must have been one hell of a trip." I can't help remember my own trip home on the crippled Normandy last year. At least we weren't thrown nearly as far from Earth and didn't face the lengthy journey she had to make. That would have been excruciating... even if I knew Shepard was alive, not to be able to be with him..."

I burrow closer to his chest, letting his strong arms hold me for a long minute. 

"We should go... join her for breakfast. What do you think?"

He's right. I just hate to move from the warm comfortable place. Then I remember something.

"Yeah we will. But first, I have something for you."

I roll onto my other side and reach for the drawer in my nightstand, pulling out a flat box wrapped in deep blue foil. 

"Another present?"

I nod as I turn back toward him, handing over the package. He props himself up on his elbow and manages to start unwrapping it with one hand.

"Well, Christmas is over, but it's Boxing Day. And I wanted to give you this here, at home together. I hope you like it."

He gives up on the one-handed effort and sits up in bed to finish the job. I watch his eyes as he opens the box and pulls out the tissue paper inside before lifting the ornament by its ribbon loop.

The small faceted silver star catches the morning light and seems to sparkle. He turns it in his hand to read the inscription engraved on the back, smiling.

"It's for our Christmas tree... the start of a new tradition of our own."

He leans down to kiss me, taking his time with tenderness. 

"Kaidan, it's beautiful. We get to add one each year?"

I nod. "I'll make sure of it. But not all stars are alike so it will still be a surprise every year."

His eyes are shining, his voice just short of breaking. "I hope we have a tree covered with them one day."

I reach for his hand, pressing a kiss into his palm. "Yeah. We will. More than you can count."

"We should get dressed and hang it on the tree... join my Mom and get the day started."

"It has already started off... perfectly."

He turns the little star in his hand and reads the inscription aloud before pressing his palm against my cheek.

 

_Know that I love you... always._

_John & Kaidan_

 


End file.
